NOPERS. 25
Not Obliged to Please Everyone (Redefine Self)—because life's too precious for unnecessary yeses.
Flashcards for the relationship you’re not ready to end (yet).
Sometimes, you don’t need to burn the bridge. You just need to stop setting yourself on fire every time they text.
This week’s no was a no to falling into the same old dynamic with someone I haven’t blocked (yet). A relative who knows just where to jab, how to guilt, when to go quiet, and when to explode. The dialogue happens mostly in text, which helps, because I started creating and using flashcards.
Not inspirational ones. Practical ones. Lines I send or say to interrupt the spiral:
Card 1: This feels horrible. Is there a chance we can start again and really listen to each other?
Card 2: It’s not no to you. I wish you could hear this as me saying yes to myself.
Card 3: I know I’m reacting. Can you say this with less heat so I can feel safe with you?
It’s not about forgetting where I stand. I haven’t.
It’s about building something better, even when one half of the conversation still runs on dysfunction. The flashcards strategy is a way to stay clear, stay kind, and stay connected — without folding.
***
So this week, when you decide to make an old, battered relationship better, ask yourself:
What would change if I gave myself 90 seconds before replying?
What line could I keep in my back pocket to protect the connection and finally get what I deserve from this relationship?
What if emotional fluency were something I practiced silently, until it became loud with results?
Some bridges don’t need burning.
They just need new traffic rules. And you are the one who gets to write them.